196. Emotional Intelligence for Dancers: Part 3 Recovering and Maintaining Balance

196 Emotional Regulation Part 3

[00:00:00] Welcome to passion for dance. I'm your host, Dr. Chelsea. And my mission is to create happier, more successful dancers through positive mental skills training. And today is part three of a series on emotional intelligence for dancers. So if you missed either of the first two, I encourage you to go back and start there, but this topic is also helpful on its own.

Previously, in the first episode of the series, I talked about recognizing your emotions and understanding how those emotions impact you as a dancer. And then in the second episode, I gave lots of strategies about how to proactively train your emotional regulation and what to do in the moment when you're overwhelmed or extra nervous.

But emotional regulation isn't just about staying calm in a stressful moment. It's also about taking better care of yourself long term. To help you do that. Today, I'll share coping strategies to help you manage emotions in the long run and recover from disappointment, frustration, or challenging seasons in your life.

Here's part three of emotional intelligence for dancers.

Welcome to passion for dance. I'm Dr. Chelsea, a former [00:01:00] professional dancer, turned sports psychologist. And this podcast is for everyone in the dance industry who wants to learn actionable strategies and new mindsets.

I know what it feels like to push through the pain, take on all the criticism, and do whatever it takes to make sure the show will go on. But I also know that we understand more about mental health and resilience than ever before, and it's time to change the industry for the better. This podcast is for all of us to connect, learn, and share our passion for dance with the world.

I want to start this off by reminding all of the dancers listening that negative emotions aren't all bad. And it's not the goal to prevent any negative emotion for ever happening. The goal is to have the right emotion at the right time and the right amount. You will have days when you are sad. You will have times when you are overwhelmed and you don't want to leave your room.

Those are normal. It's about knowing how much is too much sadness and overwhelm and anxiety and what is normal. And then having a healthy coping strategy to help [00:02:00] you in those bad days. You're a normal human if you have bad days. You are a normal human if you need a good cry or feel really sad after you get disappointing news. What I want to focus on is the ability to handle those days in a way that makes it a little less crippling So you can build confidence in your ability to handle those difficult emotions

 So let's start with what to do after a bad performance or a class that was particularly frustrating Once you've come home and you had a little time to separate from it The first recommendation is to reflect and learn from the negative experience. There is so much growth that comes from reflecting on any emotional challenges you're going through and considering how it was handled and what might be helpful next time.

Again, this isn't necessarily right in the moment when you're still really feeling those heavy emotions, but once you've had a little time to separate, have some deep breaths, your body is calm again. It's important to take time to think about [00:03:00] what really happened. I call these after action reviews. They could be after an audition that didn't go well, a competition you're disappointed in, or even a regular class where you were just upset with yourself at the end.

After that performance or rehearsal, pause and evaluate your emotions. What went well emotionally? Did you smile at any point? When did you feel comfortable, cared for, or content? When you were upset, what triggered that stress or frustration? What were you doing when the negative emotion started? What happened that sparked that?

How did you manage that emotion at the time? For example, let's say a young dancer didn't place where she wanted in her solo and she's now really disappointed after a competition. She gets snarky with her teammates, completely withdraws from everyone. I would encourage that dancer to take some time at home and do an after action review.

And that could be either in her head or talking it out or writing it down. Let's say maybe that dancer felt excited that morning, but started to feel nervous and anxious after another [00:04:00] dancer had an incredible performance to the same song. Dancers, I know we've been there. You hear that song on stage when you're getting ready and you have that panic of, Oh no, it's the same song.

If a dancer reflects on the day and is able to notice when her mood changed and why, that will help regulation in the future. So her reflection could look something like, okay, hearing another soloist use my song caused a sense of panic and a negative thought spiral. I was thinking, what if I'm not as good as her, or they'll like the first one better and be annoyed when they hear it again.

And that thought spiral impacted my performance on stage. I was distracted. I was tight in my movement rather than allowing it to flow. I didn't manage that initial panic well, and it hurt my performance on stage. That level of after action review sets up for better emotional regulation next time you hear your song from another competitor or you get distracted and nervous for any number of reasons.

These after action reviews turn every [00:05:00] experience into a learning opportunity. You can separate from the emotion and notice factually what happened and then learn from it moving forward going back to some of the strategies I talked about in the last episode. So the next time something happens where you get distracted, you can't find a costume piece and it causes panic for a few minutes or you find out the competition is running ahead of schedule. Like all these little things happen that can cause panic, but if you've done this after action review, you've realized what happened and that the distraction was the problem. Then you can go back to your toolkit of what to do in the moment and practice doing that next time.

Similarly, you can track your progress over time by keeping a journal or a log of how your emotional regulation improves with practice. So if you write down these after action reviews, you'll start to notice a pattern. Say you notice how a teacher's negative comment caused you to be upset in class today.

But a month ago that derailed you all class and even the whole [00:06:00] next class with that teacher. But today you were able to take a deep breath, re center yourself, and continue to work hard in class. Noticing that personal growth will help you stick with it and see the positive impact on your dancing. Any kind of reflection helps you process your emotions and be more prepared for the next class or the next competition.

And journaling is just one way, but a great opportunity to learn from your emotions. Questions you could ask might be what emotion did I feel and how did it affect my performance? What worked for regulating my emotions? What didn't work? Taking the time to write this down, notice the patterns and think about strategies you've tried and what works for you and what didn't will help you know what to do next time. 

I want to pause for just a second and say hello to any new listeners and thank [00:07:00] you for being a part of the community. If you're new to the show today or found us recently, I have a special resource for you. It's simply the new listener resource and it has my best recommendations for other podcasts or books to inspire you.

As well as all my current free resources that you can download, which includes things like the competition confidence checklist or journal prompts that might help you today. It's actually a simple Google Doc because I'm constantly updating it and sharing new things for dancers and dance educators. And I wanted a way to give you all the links in one place.

So you can grab your copy today and it will always update as new things are happening this year. You can get it at passionfordancepodcast. com. You'll see it right on the homepage. That's passion for a dance podcast. com. Welcome to the community. I'm so happy to have you. Okay. Let's get back to the show. Along with reflection and journaling after a negative experience, you can also intentionally spend [00:08:00] time in post performance relaxation routine.

Now be honest with yourself when something doesn't go well and you're in a bad mood. Do you just pull out your phone and sit on your screen all day? Instead, think about an intentional relaxation routine. It could be a cool down with your body with that gentle stretching while practicing mindful breathing or listening to a playlist that fits your emotions of the moment.

And that may only be, you know, 20 minutes. It's not a lot of time, but allowing for a physical and emotional release of tension can be very beneficial for emotional regulation. Not stuffing it down, ignoring it and burying yourself in your phone, but intentionally going through a post performance relaxation routine.

Similarly to stretching and mindful breathing, you could really engage in any sort of relaxation that's comforting to you, but again, preferably off a screen, something like a bath, listening to music, coloring, or connecting with supportive friends. [00:09:00] 

Speaking of connecting with supportive friends, the second way to practice this long term emotional recovery is to maintain a balance outside of dance.

I know that's easier said than done. I get that. It is so incredibly important though, and it will impact how you show up in class and what you're able to execute on stage. The goal is a well rounded life that provides emotional stability, and it makes it a lot easier to handle challenges in your dance life.

First up in that formula for a well rounded life is general rest and recovery. This may sound like a broken record, but it really makes a difference. Prioritizing adequate sleep, putting your phone away in another room at bedtime if you need to, allowing for physical rest days away from your intense training can all help you avoid burnout.

And when we are tired, we are more emotional. So if you are feeling extra overwhelmed, more frustrated after every class, on the verge of tears more often than normal, consider how much you've truly rested lately. [00:10:00] And if you have given yourself a chance for physical and emotional recovery, even the busiest dancers and teachers would benefit from some sort of hobby or interest outside of dance.

Engaging in non dance, non screen activities can do wonders for maintaining perspective and emotional balance. Could be things like coloring, walking a dog, spending time with your loved ones, baking, even cleaning. Those type A personalities out there sometimes getting your room clean can make a huge difference Maintaining a little time in your schedule for hobbies and interests outside of dance Or help you keep that passion for dance alive and prevent dance related stress from dominating your thoughts I know that's easier said than done and it can feel really challenging to bring in a These extra hobbies that there's no time for this, for any sort of outside interest, especially if you're a student, but that balance is essential. If you only do those things, once you've already noticed [00:11:00] intense stress, it's too late. Your body is already in that fight, flight, or freeze mode. So instead try to keep this balance of even just 20 minutes of small activities, hobbies.

Intentional relaxation to keep you calmer and able to handle those negative emotions when they come up. 

And finally, attending to your physical wellness long term impacts your ability to manage those negative emotions when they spike. So physical wellness matters too. Things like staying hydrated, eating nutritious meals, cross training to keep your body healthy and balanced can all support a healthy mind.

So if you are struggling with handling emotions and it's impacting how you show up to class and how you perform on stage, there is no quick fix. There are certainly short term regulation strategies that I talked about in the last episode to help that immediate moment of panic, but truly it's about long term care.

And again, I know how stressful and busy life feels when you're a dancer, [00:12:00] it feels like there's no time for anything else, but I challenge you to consider your priorities outside of dance and school, if you're a student and how you truly spend your time outside of those two things. Allowing for intentional rest and relaxation hobbies outside of dance. genuine connection with friends and family, giving yourself time for after action reviews that you can learn from will all allow you to continue dancing much longer, prevent burnout, and likely bring you more joy as well. Dancers, you will have hard days. You will be emotional and challenged and upset, but it's the dancers who learn how to manage those hard days and persevere that are the dancers who will continue to thrive in this sport that we love.

Consider how you can take better care of yourself physically and mentally long term. So that when you have those strong emotion days, you have a toolkit ready to support you. And you can manage those negative emotions and get back in the studio. You've got this take care of yourself and keep sharing your [00:13:00] passion for dance with the world.

 Thank you for listening to Passion for Dance. You can find all episode resources at passionfordancepodcast. com. And be sure to follow me on Instagram for more high performance tips at doctor. chelsea. parati. That's P I E R O T T I. This podcast is for passionate dancers and dance educators who are ready to change our industry by creating happier, more successful dancers.

I'm Dr. Chelsea, and keep sharing your passion for dance with the world.