234: Feeling STUCK as a Coach and Navigating Career Transitions

Ep 234 Career Transitions

[00:00:00] Hi, it's Dr. Chelsea. Welcome to Passion for Dance, where it's my mission to create happier, more successful dancers through positive mental skills. Today we're talking about something that so many teachers and coaches quietly struggle with, but rarely say out loud.

When we feel stuck in our current job and we're not sure if it's time to transition to something else, it happens to dancers too. Maybe you're wondering if it's time to shift out of performing and work in a different area of the arts. Maybe you're a coach questioning if this is still the right program for you, or if you're ready to step into a new role.

Or maybe you're someone who has wanted to make a change for a long time, but the fear of choosing wrong or letting people down keeps you stuck. If you're here nodding along, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. And when we consistently push for growth and progress as dancers tend to do, we will inevitably feel stuck without it.

That sense of feeling stuck is not a flaw. Feeling uncertain is not a weakness. [00:01:00] These feelings show up when something important is changing, and you're trying to navigate what comes next. I know dancers are people who always strive for more. Which means at some point we're likely to feel stuck and question what's next.

So in today's episode, we're gonna talk about career decision making, and I'll break it down into five clear strategies for dancers and coaches who feel stuck or scared to make a big decision about what's next. That includes thinking about emotional barriers, how you can find clarity, reframing your fears, and finding that support. And of course, how to separate what you can control from what you can't.

And if you stay with me until the end, I'm going to get a little personal about my own career decisions. And what's next for this podcast. I'm going through my own career transition and it's time to share with all of you what's going on for me.

Welcome to Passion for Dance. I'm Dr. Chelsea, a former professional dancer, turn sport psychologist, and this podcast is for everyone in the dance industry who [00:02:00] want to learn actionable strategies and new mindsets to build happier, more successful dancers. I know what it feels like to push through the pain, take on all the criticism, and do whatever it takes to make sure the show will go on.

But I also know that we understand more about mental health and resilience than ever before, and it's time to change the industry for the better. This podcast is for all of us to connect, learn, and share our passion for dance with the world.

When you have a big career decision in front of you. You have to start with understanding the emotional side of feeling stuck. When you're struggling to make that decision, it's often not because you don't know the options, it's because you do know the options and you're not sure you can make the right choice.

There may be too many options and that feels overwhelming, or maybe there's only two options, stay or go, but they both pull at your heart. We often know the options. We're just stuck because making the right choice feels too hard. Psychologists call this career decision [00:03:00] self-efficacy, which just means your confidence and your ability to choose.

But here's why that matters specifically for dancers and coaches. We are a group of high achievers. You're used to structure, learn choreography, work my technique, take corrections, class schedules, a set of expectations, a consistent competition season cycle every year. So when it comes to career decisions, where there is no choreography to follow and there is no right answer. It can feel disorienting.

I know for me, give me choreo, I will execute. I want a plan. I wanna know what's next, and I'll get it done. When there's no clear path forward, it can bring up a lot of emotions. It might feel like a fear of uncertainty or a fear of disappointing someone. Coaches, if you're thinking about transitioning, have you ever thought, I'll just wait until so and so is a senior?

Or sometimes we fear making the wrong choice. Or for others, there's a dip in self-esteem or a sense of identity, confusion. Who am I if I walk away from this? It's these emotional blocks, [00:04:00] usually not The lack of information that makes decisions feel so hard.

So before you even think about the pros and cons of your career choice, here's your first question. Am I stuck because I don't know what to do or because I'm afraid of choosing wrong? That awareness alone is powerful. What emotions are coming up when you start to think about this transition?

The next step is to lean into that discomfort. Once you've done some honest reflection, the next strategy is rooted in the same mental skill I teach every day. Clarity comes from action. People who make successful career transitions don't sit around waiting for clarity. They take small, imperfect actions first. Taking action influences your emotion around that action. You can get a sense of how does it feel when I try this, when I talk about this? That helps create the clarity. Think about this in dance terms for a second.

If you wanted to learn a new leap, you wouldn't say, I'll start practicing once I feel [00:05:00] ready. No, you have to try it. You do the drills, the technique, the work you get, advice you learn by doing. Career decisions can work the same way. If you're a dancer wondering whether to move into teaching or choreography, try teaching one class or choreographing something for free in your area.

If you're a coach, thinking about leaving your program, have an honest conversation with a mentor or talk to other coaches in your circle of trust. The next step doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be movement.

Research around confidence is clear, whether you're talking about your confidence to execute on stage, or your confidence to make this kind of decision. Confidence doesn't come before action. It grows because of action. You have to start doing things first.

So if you're not sure what's next, if you need some clarity, take small actions toward that shift. See how you feel about it, and that will help bring you clarity. By staying in your own head without taking any action, it's a never ending cycle. [00:06:00] And I know I'll get to the personal side of this at the end, but this is what happened to me. I was stuck for a while because I was afraid to do anything. When I finally started taking small steps and actions to say, what would it feel like if I leaned this way and started to realize how much lighter it felt, I realized I was headed in the right direction.

Step three is to shift your thinking. Once you start taking small actions, the next mental tool is called cognitive reappraisal, which is a fancy psychology term for reframing how you think about the situation. When you're trying to navigate a big career change, being able to reframe fears as opportunities helps with that emotional toll.

When the scary unknown is an opportunity, not something to fear. You can better manage it. It works the same with any kind of fear in dance. If you're scared of an audition, if you're worried about a competition, reframing helps. So let's put this in a dance example. If you're a coach who's [00:07:00] afraid of leaving, the fear thought is, I'm scared to leave my team. What if they don't get a new coach and everything falls apart without me? Everything I've built would crumble. The reframed thought could be, I care deeply about my athletes and my desire to grow personally, will model courage for them. It's okay to do what's right for me and still show them how much I care.

Or for dancers considering if it's time to leave the stage. The fear thought could be. If I stop performing, who am I? But the reframed thought is I'm evolving. My identity will grow with me. Now, the shift in perspective doesn't make the fear go away, but it can give you back that sense of control and you wanna come back to that reflection I mentioned before about your fear and what's really coming up. Then take the time to talk to a mentor. Explore one new opportunity. Try one new thing. Journal your feelings about it, what's coming [00:08:00] up, and then you can take small actions based on what you learned. Just like any other big goal, break it into these small little steps.

It's hard to make these giant decisions all at once, so break it down just like you would with anything else. You can start with this. Write down your biggest fear about this decision, and then try to rewrite it as an opportunity and see how that feels.

Next, let's talk about support, because you do not have to make this decision alone. Supportive networks, friends, mentors, teachers, counselors, they all increase your belief that you can successfully make the transition. Don't do it alone. And here's one thing I love, research is very clear that even one encouraging mentor can make a measurable difference in your confidence.

For a lot of you, if you're the teacher or the coach, you've been the mentor, but it's time to lean into the mentors in your life. Reach out to another coach in your circle who [00:09:00] understands the emotional weight of leadership. Share your fears out loud. They lose power when they're spoken. So I encourage you to think about this. Who in my circle helps me feel brave? And then promise yourself you'll reach out to that person this week and.

This is where I'm at right now. I've been thinking about who helps me feel brave and trying to have some of those honest conversations. And as I sit here, I'm going to commit that I need to do a little more of that, take my own advice and share these fears out loud with people I trust.

And finally, we have to talk about something that often gets ignored. There are external factors. Career decisions don't happen in a vacuum, especially if you have other loved ones in your life that you are responsible for. There are external pressures like the reality of the job market or financial stress on you or your family.

There may be cultural expectations, there may be [00:10:00] family needs, there may be pressure from the community. So you might feel stuck, not because you're indecisive, but because the situation itself is complicated. So. Same age, old advice, control the controllables. When you think about this decision, what is outside of your control?

There may be some job availability that's out of your control. There may be some elements of the economics of things that are out of your control, and other people's expectations are always out of your control. But what's in your control, your actions, your values, your boundaries, your willingness to seek support.

So give yourself a little grace if this is hard. You're not making decisions in a vacuum. You're making them in the real world with real responsibilities and acknowledging that just means you're thoughtful as you work through this.

So as I wrap this up, I want you to take a deep breath with me if this is bringing up some emotions. And remember, you don't need to have the whole [00:11:00] plan today. Like I said, I've been sitting on this for about a year as I'm working through everything. You don't need perfect clarity and you don't need the fear to disappear. You just need the next small step. Your career will evolve just like you evolve as an artist and a leader, and you're probably more capable of navigating this transition than you give yourself credit for.

So take the next brave step and then trust that clarity will follow.

And before I leave, as promised, it's time to share the personal side of this. I decided to write this episode today because I've been going through my own career identity crisis for about a year. I have essentially created two full-time jobs because I love them both.

I love being a professor and a teacher. I love working with dancers and consulting and providing this mental skills education through this podcast. But the reality is it's not sustainable anymore, and I was starting to lose touch with my own core values. [00:12:00] It's time for me to feel a little more calm, a little more engaged, and intellectually in my work, and if I'm being really vulnerable here, I miss a sense of belonging.

I've been part of a team for most of my life, and over the last 10 years, I've built two careers that are mostly done in a silo. And I realize now I'm not meant for that work in the long haul. I don't actually know what that means yet. I'm still working on the small actions and the support side to this, but it's time for me to do that work, to take those small action steps, reflect on how that feels, talk to people in my inner circle, and allow my own personal and career evolution to happen.

What that means on the short term is I am leaning into my academic career as a professor and a mentor and lightening up my consulting in this podcast. I'm not shutting down. I'm not closing doors, but I am gonna shift my own focus. I need my world to be a little smaller for a while. I hope you hear how much I love this work.

Creating this podcast and [00:13:00] consulting with dancers has brought me so much joy, and like I said, I'm certainly not done, but things will be on pause for a while so I can take my own advice and be thoughtful about what's next. So for now, thank you for listening and being a part of this passionate community.

I'm gonna go reignite my own passion and find where I belong. Then I'll be back.